How to overcome homesick

"In a sense, we're homesick for our true nature"
Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

When I fled Irkutsk, it felt like the ground was burning beneath my feet. I was a burnt-out HR director and blamed the place for everything. Staying was unbearable. I was being pushed out of the provincial city into better worlds, to wonderful competent people, to another civilization. My soul called me to the intellectual city of St. Petersburg, but my mind told me to go to business-oriented Moscow.

Thanks to a friend, everything came together quickly in Moscow - a job, salary, corporate car, gas, and an apartment. But suddenly, I was tormented by a wild longing. Any random photo of Irkutsk triggered a sharp, painful nostalgia. At that time, I thought: "What a fool I am to have left my hometown. There is nothing more precious. You have to lose something to appreciate it. I must go back, as life is short."

I quit my job and returned to Irkutsk with my belongings. Here it is - my hometown! Hooray, hooray, hooray!
However, I quickly realized that this was not the same Irkutsk. I walked through the streets and didn’t feel even a drop of the joy that would match the nostalgia I felt in Moscow. What happened? Where did it go? It vanished, evaporated, disappeared. Was it even there at all?

Now, every time I visit from St. Petersburg, I walk through my favorite places, but I can't find that Irkutsk. That magical city sometimes shines through the scent of frosty air or an elusive combination of sunset colors that can only be found here. But this new Irkutsk is already different, a bit foreign.

However, what if we adjust our perspective a bit? What if we assume that the world is not as unchanging as it seems?

All these notions of "familiar," "foreign," "here," "there" seem so real. But what if these impressions are not the result of cities and workplaces? What if it's my tireless, creative mind directing convincing narratives and producing brilliant scenes that I believe without question?

Now, I practice loving-kindness meditation. The essence is simple - wishing happiness for yourself, your loved ones, neutral people, enemies, and all living beings.

I visited Irkutsk and went to the Melnikovsky market with my father. I had always disliked this place for its dirt and rudeness. However, this time, continuing to practice loving-kindness, I mentally wished happiness to everyone I encountered there.

And a miracle happened. I felt comfortable in that place, among the containers with cheap products and sellers in dirty aprons over their jackets. And the sellers were exceptionally friendly and kind. My father later said he was surprised by how polite and pleasant everyone was that day. Unexpectedly, I started feeling kinder toward this place.

I suspect that the nostalgic Irkutsk that drove me crazy in Moscow was a carefully crafted set of pleasant impressions. My mind created an ideal picture of a cozy home, contrasted with the daunting metropolis.

All this, of course, happened unconsciously. However, if we intentionally and correctly choose methods, we can create a "familiar" place wherever we want. It's enough to change subtle settings, and we move from a self-created hell to a better world.

So, we run and burn out not because of cities, countries, or employers. We run from our own fears. And maybe, at some point, it's better to stop and decide to live right now, kindly accepting what is right here.

This doesn't mean you have to give up on changing places and seeking new experiences. I’m simply suggesting you throw away the outdated notions.

If you don't know how, ask me.