mindfulness practice
How to coach yourself
"The funny thing about the mind is that if you ask a question and then listen quietly, the answer usually appears." Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
After three sessions, my client asked me: "Can I do coaching for myself?
I already know coaching questions and understand the structure of coaching sessions."
I answered him that it was a great idea. If you know the structure, I strongly recommend coaching yourself. It will help you train your mind to think in a coaching way.
In this article, I want to share how you can coach yourself. What benefits will you get, and how can you overcome pitfalls.
A guitar string must be tight enough to produce the desired sound. The same is true for your mind.
Experimenting, I realized that combining meditation and coaching brings the best results.

Step 1 - Optimize your mind
Sit upright with a straight and relaxed back. Check your body's tight or relaxed muscles, but do not try to calm them. Just check their state. If they relax by themselves, let them. Bring your attention to your breathing. Also, do not try to force or change it. But if your breathing changes somehow, let it be.
Spend several minutes or so on this step.

Step 2 - Set the goal
Then ask yourself - What would I like to achieve at the end of my meditation? Do not push yourself with an answer. Just relax and observe your thoughts, and you will notice the answer.

Step 3 - Explore the goal
Ask yourself: What makes this goal important for me? Do not push yourself with an answer. Just relax and observe your thoughts, and you will notice the answer.

Step 4: Observe the reality.
Ask yourself: In the context of my goal, what reality is? Let yourself think about the critical components of the current situation. Let your mind describe people, things, feelings, thoughts, and other essential things with connections.

Step 5: Generate options
Ask yourself: What options do I have to pursue my goal in the described circumstances? Then relax and let yourself notice options that your mind will bring to the field of awareness.

Step 6: Apply the best answers
Ask yourself: What options are workable for me? What can I do to apply them to my life? Then, choose an answer and commit to doing what you've chosen.

Before you finish, say "thank you" to your beautiful mind for a great job. Then, slowly return your attention to the environment and do what you decide to do. Usually, making notes or creating a to-do list after a coaching meditation is helpful.

Usually, the process takes 10-15 minutes.

Pitfalls:

  • If your topic is emotional, it sometimes takes work to focus on the goal. In this case, getting lost in thoughts and associations takes effort. If you lose focus, bring your attention back to the goal and proceed.
  • Sometimes, powerful and painful emotions come. They are vast, so you can not focus on anything else. In this case, switching your focus to exploring this emotion is valid.
  • Pushing and criticizing yourself could make your practice unpleasant and ineffective. In this case, be kind to yourself. Please do not fight with habitual patterns; accept them and observe what will happen next.

When working with a professional coach, practicing yourself can significantly improve your coaching skills. It's like hiking the hills near your home - the more you practice, the easier it will be to climb Mount Everest with an experienced guide.

Article by Andrey Vagin. Add me as a friend on Facebook or LinkedIn ะตif you want to learn more about using coaching and meditation methods for managing emotions.

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