It's no secret that we handle challenges better when we believe in ourselves and our abilities. According to psychologists, individuals with high self-esteem are more successful and happier.

However, we are often influenced by the habit of focusing on our shortcomings.

Remember Grima Wormtongue from The Lord of the Rings? This character instilled powerlessness in King Theoden. Unfortunately, such a "Wormtongue" exists in many of us, constantly devaluing our victories and fixating our minds on failures, mistakes, and weaknesses.

Under the influence of this thought pattern, we habitually notice only our mistakes and miss out on our achievements. As a result, we forget about our strengths and treat ourselves as powerless losers.

If we have such a habit, it's likely that we got it from the culture in which we grew up. Focusing on shortcomings seems so natural to us that we consider it a part of ourselves. However, this is just a habit that we can change. In the novel, Grima is exposed and driven away by Gandalf, who also reminds King Theoden of his true strength and capabilities. As a result, the King, inspired by Gandalf, fulfills his destiny by accomplishing a great feat.

If you had the chance, would you ask Gandalf to rid you of Wormtongue? You can assume that the excellent wizard is already ready and waiting for your invitation. And I'll tell you how to invite him.
Habits are usually changed by instilling a new counter-habit. You will have to work hard to develop a new way of thinking. But, in this case, there is good news - noticing your strengths and advantages is enjoyable and will please you in instilling it.

If you want to feel better and achieve more regularly, try this simple meditation. I do it with my clients in coaching sessions, and the results have inspired me to share it with you:

Step 0. Lay the foundation. Sit with your back straight and relaxed, and mentally walk from the top of your head to your toes, paying attention to tense and calm areas of the body. Don't try to relax, but allow relaxation to come if it happens spontaneously. Take several conscious breaths in and out, paying attention to the depth of your breathing. Don't try to make your breathing deeper, but allow it to deepen if it happens spontaneously.

Step 1. Measure at the inlet. Think about your self-esteem. How confident are you on a scale of one to ten that you are good?

Step 2. Create an intention. Relax and get ready for something pleasant. Remember how, as a child, you looked forward to watching an exciting film? Now, you are faced with something similar.

Step 3. Invite an achievement. Ask your mind to show you your victories and achievements. It doesn't have to be grandiose; today, it's enough to remember something simple but enjoyable. A good grade for an exam at school, a victory in a sports competition, a promotion, or simply satisfaction from a craft, anything will do as long as it is pleasant to remember.

Step 4. Immerse yourself in victory. Choose one of the memories and allow yourself to reconstruct the details: What do you see? What colors predominate in the memory? What do you hear? These are the sounds of nature, the city, or something else. What do you feel in your throat, chest, and stomach connecting to this memory?

Step 5. Explore potential. Ask yourself: "What did I do then to achieve the result?" "What abilities allowed me to achieve the result then?" "What ideas about myself did I rely on then? What did I believe?"

Step 6. Activate the potential. Ask yourself, "Which qualities would I need to succeed in my current life situation?"

Step 7. Measure the output and realize the difference. Think about your self-esteem now. How confident are you on a scale of one to ten that you are good?

Step 8. Say thanks to yourself for this practice.

To change your habit, you need to repeat this meditation regularly, but it will bring you results even if you do it from time to time when you feel a slump.

As a result of this meditation, your self-esteem and confidence will likely increase. You will improve your performance and quality of life.

However, there may be possible obstacles as well. If you encounter uncontrollable negative emotions or contradictions, this is an opportunity to explore and transform them.

"Negative" emotions contain enormous resources that can be released and used for good. However, in this case, you need professional support to do so.

A feature of my coaching approach is careful and practical work with frightening, destructive, and wild emotions. I will be happy to support you in discovering your true abilities.

Please don't be shy, but Schedule free consultation with me, it will be a friendly meeting without any commitments.